Oh god, I guess I should talk about the positives. Let’s Be Fair And Very Briefly Discuss The Positives. When they arrive at one of the walrus’ test sites they smell the gas and Swifty responds, “That smells like the Earth took a poopy.” The next time you see a Marvel thing with Jeremy Renner, please imagine him saying that line.
Gas with a complex scientific name that they abbreviate to B.A.D. It is explained to Swifty by a pair of French Otters in La Resistance that the walrus is planning to use a giant drill to extract gas from the Earth. It is about a team of plucky animals who stop a gas tycoon walrus who wants to destroy everything through fracking just because he’s a dick. His plan is, and I am not joking, to destroy the town that everyone lives in, and also the world, by exacerbating global warming through fracking. Then we learn what the villainous walrus’ plan is. How is it an environmentalist tract? Global warming was mentioned a few times, I didn’t think too much of it but it seemed weird to me. But lo! The gods of dog movies have smiled upon me! For Arctic Dogs is not just a generic Balto ripoff, no it is so much more! It is secretly an in your face environmentalist tract, and when I learned that I almost squealed in delight.
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The premise is ao generic and coated in layers of “Just Be Yourself!” That I had no idea how to make it interesting or funny. When I was at this point I was really worried about what I would even write in this review. I’ll be honest with you, this is about 30 minutes of the movie. But after delivering a package from his childhood friend, Genius Inventor Jade, to a mysterious walrus, who is somehow voiced by John Cleese, the sled dogs disappear and Swifty gets his chance to become the sled dog he always wanted! But is the fame what he really wanted?
As an adult, Swifty tries to join this team but he can’t because he’s a fox and only big dogs can be sled dogs! Oh no! So Swifty has to work as a boring package sorter in a sequence that no child would find funny and every adult would find hits too close to home. Our film begins with our hero Swifty the arctic fox, voiced by Jeremy Renner, as a child who admires the heroic sled dogs who pull sleds to deliver goods and mail and then return to be worshipped by all the children.
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The Series of Things That Happen In Lieu Of A Plot. After watching the whole movie, in an empty theater, I might add, I have to say that their reactions were rather prescient, Arctic Dogs is mostly nothing.
No one could muster a reaction to the absurd generic mess before us. I have never heard a quieter theater in my entire life. Then the trailer for Arctic Dogs came on. I was watching trailers before The Addams Family and a couple came on for upcoming animated films, which most people laughed at. Community and trust win in the end, earning this snowy, funny adventure Dove-approval for All Ages.Before we get into Arctic Dogs let me tell you about my only look into what the general public thought about it pre-release. However, Arctic Dogs offers themes of resilience, friendship, girl power, and loyalty, paralleling concepts and plot lines with the 1995 Arctic tale, Balto. Unfortunately, a mild cartoon party scene loosely alludes to adult content, such as alcohol abuse, but the aftermath creates important conversation about honesty and responsibility. Friends, family, and faith in others matters most. Thanks to his loyal friends and determination, Swifty learns that landing a dream job isn’t what life is about, that big titles only count when there’s a true heart behind the big mission. The Top Dogs team delivers important packages with food and medical supplies to Swifty’s remote Arctic village, but when the Top Dog team is stolen by an evil, power-hungry walrus threatening to melt away their village, Swifty earns the chance to be the ultimate Top Dog. Swifty the Arctic fox was raised to blend in: “Out of sight, you’re all right.” But Swifty doesn’t want to blend in he wants to earn a spot as a Top Dog sledder. To prove he can do it, he commandeers one of the sleds and delivers a mysterious package to a secret location.
He yearns to become one of the Top Dogs, the Arctic’s star husky couriers. Swifty the Arctic fox (Jeremy Renner) works in the mailroom of the Arctic Blast Delivery Service, but he has much bigger dreams.
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